Emotional Maturity

Individuation v Individualization

Emotional maturity involves at least two distinct processes, individuation and a strengthening of the self.

1. Individuation: In conventional psychology and in psychodynamic psychotherapy, it is held that each person must develop an inter-dependent relation with others. This entails «separation» i.e. emerging and differentiating from an undifferentiated unconscious fusion with the environment, originally the mother. Individuation involves integration of many aspects of personal functioning over a lifetime.
   Erikson's Stages

   Erik Erikson has described 10 Stages evolving from infancy through childhood, adulthood, full maturity and old age. Each age has its own challenges that must be met or psychological dysfunction will result. This individuation has an absolute quality: once a stage has been achieved it cannot ordinarily be lost. Any regression is either rare and temporary, or pathological and requiring treatment.
   

2. Individualization: In any given milieu, a person must develop a sufficiently strong sense of self that supports an individuality and permits effective social functioning. This is an immediate matter arising when you find yourself in a social environment with people who have or seek influence over you, but do not know you.

   The degree of strength required varies for each person and each milieu. So there is no absolute or pre-specified requirement as proposed above for individuation. There is only a minimum: emotional sensitivity (φ1). If your milieu changes significantly, then your self features may need to be re-defined and re-strengthened starting from that minimum.
   Examples:  

   A common experience of this re-start is the move from being a high school student in your home town, to being a University student in a distant metropolis. Another occurs when moving from being a student within a protected University environment to becoming a young adult earning a living competitively in a sector of society. A dramatic change occurs if you move to living in an alien culture (e.g. from Europe to Asia). In all these cases, the initial re-emergence of emotionality-μ1 may come as a surprise.

Many of the features associated with a strengthening the self are not commonly regarded as part of «emotional maturity» e.g. joining groups, humanitarian attitudes. Such factors are, however, commonly included within the notion of «personal maturity».

With the focus on emotionality as just one part of a person, changes within the Emotional Mode-1 ellipse are maturational.

Emotional Mode Ellipse

The features of emotionality that enable a sense of self show a progressive development through the two Cycles.

At the outset, emotional sensitivity is associated with a desire for approval that is obtained via selected confidantes who are willing to be recipients for outpourings of feelings. Effectiveness is based on compartmentalizing feelings.

As Cycle-1 is pursued, emotionality is:

• reduced in Social-φ2 by norms and needs of group life that encourage suppression of feelings, then
• withheld in Individual-φ3 by self-consciousness and a concern for privacy,
  and finally
• channeled in Sensory-φ4 by ritual conviviality and the enjoyment of events with companions.

The end result is that sensitivity remains but emotions become contained rather than splashed about or dumped indiscriminately. Mode-1 values therefore adjust and lead to stability.
More on μ1 changes:

• Discretion is exercised in regard to ventilation of feelings.
• Approval needs are less urgent
• Separations from confidantes are less stressful.
• Likes/dislikes become stabilized and less vulnerable to disruption by feelings.
• Pairing shows more diversity.
• Defensiveness and enmeshment within relationships can also be reduced.

Well-being is increasingly brought under personal control during Cycle-1. Initially well-being depends on external approval (φ1) or social acceptance (φ2), but then it is provided by self-respect (φ3) and sensory gratification (φ4). The end result is that a person feels good in life within a comfort zone. Any movement or threat of movement outside a comfort zone naturally leads to anxiety and inhibition.

Cycle-2 commences when maintaining comfort is less of a priority than self-actualization. Sensitivity with containment of emotions then allows a person to:

• select and rise to challenges (φ5),
• appreciate ultimate values and sustain a humane attitude (φ6), and
• cultivate meaningful friendships (φ7).

The end result is that sensitivity is now habitually used in the service of others via empathy. Mode-1 values are now rather sophisticated.
More on μ1 changes

• Approval becomes reality-based. Inevitable frustrations and disappointments are no longer disruptive.
• Ventilation takes place within dialogue and is about sharing experiences calmly.
• Likes and dislikes remain relevant to choices, but tend to lose their relevance to identity and personal functioning.
• Social pairing is similarly flexible and non-exploitative.

See a Table Summary

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Originally posted:  7-Jan-2016. Last amended 24-Jun-2016.