Painful Disengagement

Time-based Internal Duality

A serious involvement develops over time and is not temporary.

The Tree structure suggests the importance of continuance as part of commitment, which is the upper pole of the internal duality (Ls 5-7)

and perseverance as part of involvement, which is the lower pole of the internal duality (Ls 1-4)

The diagrams below allow comparison of the full picture of the requisite and self-centred Tree patterns.

How Disengagement Develops

At any point, during the development of involvement, the states (Centres) can become unsupportive. Once that occurs a process of disengagement commences. If the involvement has become serious, then that disengagement will feel painful.

The sources of disengagement will most likely be personally-controlled Centres.

At L3, you my become aware of crucial facts that are disturbing, even while independent assessments are reassuring.

At L5, you start seeing the potential for losses as more likely than the potential for gains, even if your acceptance of risk-exposure is unchanged.

At L6, your reflections on recent experiences start suggesting that matters are taking a turn for the worse and there is little you can do to remedy the situation. Learning resources are usually little help because they are conservative, look to the past, and take time to be revised.

These 3 Centres feed into L4-Participation: the effect of continued participation clarified by the disturbing facts. Your incentive to participate is weakened by the thought of loss, and your enthusiasm is moderated. In a selfish way, you start to feel bad about participating, however nobly intentioned the group is, and that weakens your embrace.

While you are mentally disengaging you may still L1-keep trying and L2-applying beliefs, although that becomes harder to justify.

The pain associated with disengaging is probably related to feeling let down and the weakening of L7-trust.

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Originally posted: 20-May-2026.